the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
