wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
as a side note pls kill me
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
