just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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