There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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