but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
