I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
