How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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