Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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