So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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