I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize