Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We got so high we made milksteak
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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