So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
