we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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