you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
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i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
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Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"