I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
