No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
