Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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