I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
