I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I did not marry a roomba.
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