What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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