so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
