Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
