Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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