He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
