I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
