She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He shit in the fireplace
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
