I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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