my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i out mim tonsoeep
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
