I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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