Whod you bang
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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