You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
3pm strippers are depressing
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
