Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
