well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
