I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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