i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
