it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
