i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
