lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
