he wants to bone in the snuggie
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
