just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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