And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
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You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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