i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
