Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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