We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
All the doctor said was why
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
