Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
