can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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