When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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