And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
