Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
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