She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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