It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
