Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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