i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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