My underwear smells like fireworks.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
