Just fell off a train. Bad.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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