Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
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She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
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Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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