OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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