my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize