my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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