i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
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Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
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I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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