apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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