party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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