Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Houston, we have a blender
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
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